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mother vs. mom vs. mommy

– B2-C1 (intermediate to advanced) –

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In North American English, these words mean the same thing, but they are not used in the same ways. This is one reason why confusing these words is such a common mistake among English language learners.

DEFINITIONS

mother

  1. (noun; standard* / formal**) the female parent of a human or animal

  2. (verb; standard) to act like a mother to someone

*This word is considered standard when referencing a female parent in the general sense (see examples below). It is more common for adults to use this word than children or teenagers.

**When this word is used formally in an informal conversation it can suggest a distance in a person’s relationship with their mother, meaning that a person does not have a close relationship with her. In such situations, it can indicate passive aggressive disrespect or anger. This is particularly true when “Mother” is used as a name.

mom

  1. (noun; informal) the female parent of a human

mommy

  1. (noun; infantile*) the female parent of a human

*This word is used by children generally aged 7 and younger or by an adult who is speaking to a child aged 7 or younger. As such, if an adult uses this word in general, it gives the impression that that adult is acting like a child.

NOTE: This is also true for the word, “mama,” specifically in Canadian English.


EXAMPLES

  • mother (noun; standard)

    • “Gloria is the mother of three children: two daughters and one son.”

    • “The baby elephant is never too far from its mother.”

  • mother (noun; formal)

    • formal context

      • "My mother resides in Western Canada year-round, while my father spends the latter half of each year in Eastern Canada, following a six-month annual period in the southern United States.”

    • used formally in an informal context

      • “I told her I wasn’t really a fan of how it made me feel, but Mother didn’t give a crap. So, you know….”

      • “Nice! That sounds fun! I’ll ask my mother if I can come, but knowing her I probably won’t be allowed outta the house.”

  • mom

    • “Is Mom asleep already? It’s only 9:00 PM! She must be really tired.”

    • “Every summer, my mom and her siblings go on a trip together. This year, they are going to France.”

  • mommy

    • A little girl around the age of five is walking alone in a mall. A man sees her and speaks to her.

      “Hi sweetie. Where is your mommy? Are you lost? Do you need help?”

    • A young child under the age of seven is speaking to you about their mother.

      Mommy made me this dress. It’s for my birthday.”

      “Wow! It’s very nice. Do you think your mommy would make me some clothes, too?”

      “No…! She’s not your mommy. You have to get your mommy to make you something.”

      “Oh, is that a mommy thing?”

      “Yeah.”

When was the last time you did something for your mother? What did you do together? Practice using this vocabulary by letting me know in the comments below.


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